Dear Rainbow Mom,

Congratulations on your baby!
I know how hard it was to announce this baby, the complicated mix of jubilation and guilt.
You want to be excited about this new life, but you want to be respectful toward the life who is no longer here.

It’s okay to be afraid.
It’s okay to take it day-to-day.
It’s even okay if you’re not excited.
You’ve learned, in the worst possible way, that nothing in life is guaranteed.
But it’s also okay to have hope, and make plans.
Yes, the baby deserves that, but so do you.

(中略)

A baby after loss is scary.
There’s no such thing as a normal pregnancy pain after you’ve miscarried, no such thing as a normal sneeze after your baby has died.
Be kind to yourself.

(中略)

There will, of course, be people who assume that with the arrival of a new baby, you are “better.”
They won’t get why you’re “still sad.”
Ignore them.

The day Annabel was born was one of the best days of my life.
The day we brought her home was one of the hardest. My emotions, fueled by postpartum hormones, were all over the place, and I was completely unprepared.

(中略)

In the last six-and-a-half years, I’ve learned that life can still be good (even great) after unthinkable loss.
There was a time when I would have been horrified to even type that sentence but now I can write it knowing it’s true, although I’m still working through the associated guilt.

Every day, you will be able to breathe a little bit deeper.
Every day, you’ll love your babies – all of them – just a little bit more, until one day, that love overtakes the pain.

Congratulations on your beautiful rainbow.

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