This article is an English version translated from "終わりの始まり♡告白のドライブ" https://ameblo.jp/la-reminiscence/entry-12407239444.html issued on the 24th September. I appreciate your kind reading and your help on my ambiguous English translation, if I get it from you. Thanks.
Today the 24th September, it will be just one month since her negative films from the long time ago came out.
On the 24th of every month, I decided to make it my own day, I came to the same bar drank with my friend since university one month ago, and am drinking a beer by myself even in the daytime.
Dear all,
Welcome to my blog, La Réminiscence!
And let's share with KAN-PAI !
I enjoyed a glass of beer at the same bar where we used last time.
My blog has only just begun, but let me write about the end.
Even though it has just started, against regarding to the end.
The biggest reason why she and myself have parted.
The major cause of the final chapter is probably this.
That was certainly when we were driving on a bay road on the way back of our date.
The car stopped due to traffic jam, and I made decision in my mind.
Non, I want you to marry me.
Yes, I'm getting.
It should have been said from myself.
But it was not, actually it was that,
When the car stopped due to traffic jam and repetition of small departure, she kept silent for a while, and tweeted.
I am,,
I wonder if I will be a bride of you.
... ...
... ... ... ...
I wonder, I'd like to marry you.
I heard it, I did not have a word, and I remained to keep silent.
And the car moved without sound.
Scenes that are too happy, I'm so glad and if usual,
Let's get married!
From now on, let's get married registration!
Hold her tight in my hands,
I want you to be my bride.
Right now.
It should be like this, in common sense.
But, for me, this word did not come out.
None of the words followed from me.
It was a moment that I could not make excuses, there was no intention to marry, even if I thought so.
Of course that.
Because even though we've been together for long time, I will not face her feelings and remain silent, without any words.
A lot of years have passed since that, when my memory came back after encountering her negative films, that scene echoes.
Non, I have one sister.
She has been bedridden since she was born.
But, still I want you to be with me.
Let's get married.
That day, that time,
It may be better to have courage and say this,
Still I want you to stay with me.
Let's get married.
There is no "if" in the past.
But if I had the courage to believe her more and talk about my family,,,
I do not want to let her be away.
Always staying together.
I want our days to be fun as we are.
Even that, but I should have to tell her.
I think that there was a weak myself who was running away from reality.
This is maybe the beginning to the end.
As a result, I did something very bad, I hurt her.
After that, nothing changed as if nothing had happened, but rather hot days continued as if it burned more violently, our usual happy days continued.
But it eventually decayed naturally, and each other was in a different direction.
I feel like I'm excusing later, and it looks awful.
In the virtual blog world, I mention my excuse at the place where she is not, it looks that's not fair.
If, IF is allowed,
I want to tell her that,
Sorry, non.
I want to apologize sincerely.
I feel like that.
It sounds something damp, but
Hope you are fine.
Wish you to be happy.
It is to be an important day for me, the 24th of every month.
I will do that it is my appreciation and wish day.
Also will drink next time again with three, her, him and myself, no, I will do it myself alone.
Alright, it's time to say, bye.
■La réminiscence, 2018
Memories with her came back as vivid photos.
All pictures are not allowed to copy, to forward without permission.
Copyright: La réminiscence, ixprime 2018.