Good evening.
I'm at the airport and waiting for my flight to Japan.
There is so much anxiety inside of me because I'm scared and feels like it the last chance to talk about my problems to my parents.
they never understood before, I know that they were concerned and worried and didn't know what to say. But they cant just yelled at me or tell me to stop doing whatever I'm doing. this is because I'm powerless to fix my problems and struggling because I don't know how to deal with it.
Even I'm getting better what I missed the most is LOVE, ACCEPTANCE from my parents.
but now I made my mind up.
I cant go like this anymore, cant beat my self up because of someone. At one point I need to make a strong decision. For me, it is never ever trying to get something I can't even get it. Because I know if I kept doing that I end up with depression and all of the sadness and beat my self up in different ways.
So, even my plan did not go well I will stay strong and believe my higher power. Most importantly and now I have such amazing friends who care about me and boyfriend actually loves me. Therefore there is nothing I should be worried. I'm surrounded by the people who are really nice. at this point, I'm very lucky.
I'm not alone.
also, you are not alone because I'm HERE.
Everyone, every human being cant life without other peoples care.
It's okay to accept I'm asking for help, support.
who ask for support will win.
If I wanna keep going in this dark side of the world, "YES I OBVIOUSLY CAN".
But I decided I don't wanna be on this side anymore.
I'm sure there is UP and DOWN as always.
BUT NEVER EVER EVER STOP FIGHTING.
If you don't have anyone, just believe it, hope it. In the future, there is always someone who will care about you. So don't give up. JUST HOLD ON THERE.
I promise and I know all the things will be okay.
The reason why you are struggling is that because you can deal with it and you can be stronger than anyone that's why we always suffer. I know you think its only you. BUT, it's not true. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, SO DO I ....?????
