I finally motivate myself to write a blog today.
I was feeling NOTING past few days. it was crazy.
hard to wake up, hard to concentrate, I don't feel my body either its walking or stopping, I couldn't remember anything sometimes.
I was really confused and getting stress from my behavior and these symptoms.
it is hard to describe in words but it was horrible and even now too.
But I went to the psychiatric hospital yesterday and found out it was because I couldn't able to take my medication for a week. I did not know, but I was taking higher amount of antidepressant which my Thai psychiatrist prescribed. Therefore, no wonder why I'm feeling this way.....
I knew this kind of medical help to release more SSRI and maintain the right amount of who has depression or other mental problem. but I did not expect withdrawal symptom is this bad.
I hope i'll feel better soon.
I'm going back Thailand 5th of March.
after I go back, I need to catch up lots of things.
but I'm very lucky there are people who support me even teachers.
Right now, I'm trying to gain weight, when I came back to Japan I was only 40kg or less.
but everyone tells me to eat so I eat and gain until 43.
But you know what, I don't feel anything. I don't wanna eat anything.
if someone tells me to eat, I can eat. But those words never change my feelings.