but i've done a few interesting things since and taken photos, but i still haven't put any of it on here. i'm sorry for this, but i will try to get back in to the habit. ('艸`) lately i've been thinking about the subject of self-improvement and change. i'm proud of the things i've changed about my routine in the past few weeks, i dyed my hair red which has always been a dream of mine (now that i've worked up the courage to dye it, i can't wait to choose the color after this! ヽ(゚◇゚)ノ i'm considering gray and maybe baby pastels) i've also changed my skincare regimen so it feels great. i've seen how much a different beauty routine can really improve your mood. anyway, what makes me want to write on my blog today is how different people have treated me ever since i dyed my hair. i didn't think many people would even notice because i spend most of my time on campus alone.
most of the comments i've gotten haven't exactly been positive and this morning i was thinking of why it would be like that. it's funny how much people want others who they've never even noticed before to conform their norms and be part of a group. (i think this theme is also fresh in my mind because it is what we're discussing in my english class right now.) my theory is that the people who go to my university see me and don't know how to feel because i'm comfortable on my own and i don't go to any effort to be a part of a particular group, and the things i choose to change to express myself don't fit in to the characteristics of any other group they know. but then, why would anyone be so offended by something unknown?
having high confidence in yourself is tricky. i think confidence is a trait everyone wants, although i'm not sure how many people are willing to admit that they aren't confident so that puts you in a cycle of not being confident forever. you get stuck. but the reason i think having and keeping confidence is hard because people are always out to bring you down because they see someone with a trait they don't have. so, the more confidence you possess, the more people will want to take it away. it's a very common hated trait to be arrogant, but i don't agree with that... i think arrogance is used as a term to describe people who are too confident. it's a way of saying you hate someone for being too confident, without mentioning it.
anyway, if anyone reads this, i'm sorry. i just wanted to put some thoughts out there. putting them online somewhere helped my process how i'm feeling. (・・。)ゞ i will return with a blog post soon!
