チュウウウ ☆-(^з^)-☆ 日記

Christmas this year was probably the saddest one so far. This is gonna be a totally depressing blog entry for me to vent my frustrations.

After seeing sth they might not want me to see, my mind just went haywire. I started crying to myself what is gonna happen.

At that point of time when the explanation started, I told myself yes I'm just thinking too much into it. And I tried to convince myself to just forget about it. But the more I try to forget, the more I think why such msgs can be sent to each other so easily. And the more I think "now I know why our night chats that were from sometimes to none". It just keeps coming. I'm trying my best now to just cry it off and forget. Can I...

I feel like I'm always being treated as the childish, over sensitive one. Just because I cannot take such "fun". I've always been the "matured" one in ppl's eyes my whole life ever since this year. WTF is going on with me?

After the episode today, with my epilepsy attack, it just reminds me how weak a person I am...

A picture of me and Riku (Renaissance's guitarist) aka as Panda Peh if you guys have been reading my blog. HAHA!

I just realised I didn't really post a picture of us together, So here you go!

Renaissance had their performance at Republic Poly's cultural centre on Sunday 12th Decemeber.
Not gonna explain in detail what happened, just go check out their facebook and videos!
Renaissance FaceBook




Here's a picture of how his hair looks like.. (Koped from Sochii's pictures tee hee)
He was moaning for about half an hour when I was doing his hair. LOL!




And one with Sochii~ (Koped from Sochii also~)

*I'm getting lazy to continue*

And onwards are all pictures... I'm seriously too lazy to type anything else~ bleahhh



Loving my Iphone cover!




With teh bunny with humongous eyes that day~




With Chiru's Usagi and torturing him by splitting his crotch HAHAHAHHAHA! (koped from Sochii again~)




Camwhore~
Ameba refuses to let me upload this picture a my profile pic.. BOOOO)


Ok, I'm gonna go play my FB games now..... BYEEEEEEEEEE~~

*Remember to check out my beauty blog!* Golly-lock's Beauty Blog




Golliwog

It's 3.23am now and I just woke up from a horrible nightmare. This is why I hate having stress at work. It affects everyone.

I locked myself in and went to sleep the moment I reached home at 6.30pm. Turned off my phone completely cos there were nuisances calling me non stop and I was about to go crazy. Yes and I really mean crazy cos I was looking downstairs outta my window and was thinking how it will feel like if I were to start flying outside. I got to get control of myself.

I know you might think I'm still sore about it but I can tell you I'm not. This is why I should just disappear when I had a bad day. So it doesn't affect any single soul. I have only myself as a friend. It doesn't matter anyway as long as I don't cause trouble for you ain't it. So yea, it will be like this for as long as I live since it's my fault for not liking to talk or ask for suggestions.

I think I need to purchase some pills to make me sleep all the way through again. It's coming back.

My recent haul that I got when I went on shopping therapy. o(〃＾▽＾〃)o
These doesn't look much though, I still have a few missing in the picture cos i forgot about it. (＾～＾)

(Might update later on what products I got.. Maybe not)

Most exciting of all were the lashes, as you can see~~
6 boxes of lashes!!!!! How cool is that~~ Tried all except the Fairy lashes which I just recieved yesterday~
Will probably try it this weekend.. о(ж＞▽＜)ｙ ☆

I have been spending way too much~~
Got to control on my spending if not........................ Y(＞_＜、)Y

So talking about the fairy lashes that came in yesterday made me so excited cos I was expecting both contact lens AND lashes..
But booooooo, I opened and to my dismay there were only lashes in there~~ ・°・(ノД｀)・°・
I quickly emailed the supplier and asked her what's going on, and just as i expected, the contact lens are gonna come in another shipment. Which means..... ANOTHER SURPRISE THIS THURSDAY!!!!




The sender from Japan was so kind she included some pamphlets which included SAKURINA'S one~~~
ありがとうね、あやこさん～




The other pamplet supposedly for my contact lens~
Even their saline is so cute.. TSK~

ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ



On a side note, Anne gave me Stilla's limited edition eyeshadow pallet as a farewell gift from her..
Hmmmm not gonna comment on anything about this product as to where it came from.. But oh well, it's mine now anyway.. ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ


It's gonna be christmas soon and I haven't got a single present for anyone yet.
GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!





Ciaos
Golliwog.

Yep, sucha long time since i ever enjoyed an event.
Well, enjoyed in a way i get to drink like no one's business.PHAUAHAHAH!
So as you can see~ *ahem sponsors* teehee~

So V Golf is actually a indoor place with a veryyyyyy nice atmosphere for people to play golf in. Great for ladies like me who are scared of the sun. TEE HEE~
Ok so i don't play golf, but at least went in 2 holes ytd at the stimulator kkkk~ Not bad for a first timer said the pro golfer~ HAHAHAH!!

Reach home at about 1 plus and stayed up till about 7am, slept for about half and hour to an hour or so and woke up to go to work.. Am I god or what.. LOL!

Anyway, i realised i have a great ability. That is to puke at nothing at all.. PHUAAHAHHA!
I'm so proud since I'm losing kgs fast like damn fast.. XD


I think i'm losing my mind. I just fucked dino up mentally and scolded her like no tmr,
And i ended up laughing to myself after at my lil corner.. XD


Enough said, my fingers are trembling and i'm can't really feel them now..

Gonna have a la kopi session with the charlie's angels later..
At last, a life of my own. :D
I'm so proud of myself.



Ciaos
Golliwog

It's gonna be another appointment at the hospital again tomorrow.
I just hate it when they start telling me i shouldn't do this and that since i'm sick, but bloody hell still take so much blood from me. Like it would help?

I've been sick from the day i was born.
Everyone is sick. Why is it that they don't get told what they should and should not do?

I bet my doc is gonna ask whether I've been puking again, since that's the norm whenever she sees my weight go down. I cannot go on a healthy diet ah?! Must i only be puking then will my weight go down? ok la but its true that I've been puking but that doesn't mean I'm not healthy ok?
Moreover although I dropped 3 kg, I don't see any change in my physical build.. : (

I'm just bored in the office cos no one is giving my anything to do and I don't really feel like playing any games on FB now. Just blasting my music on the speakers now to irritate everyone :D


Ciaos
Golliwog

I just wanna go back to how we were in the past.
And to be able to do that I guess i'll have to become someone stupid again. I'm not that clever now but not as stupid as before.
I can only try to become a kid again and just be ignorant of everything.

I guess I'm the only one at fault for causing the unhappiness which I have a very strong feeling will be a barrier between us in the future if I continue. I just dun wanna give up at this point of time. I just want a blissful, loving and long lastingrelationship without any secrets.

I was heartbroken when he says he's pressured by everyone including me.

I guess after this post, there won't be any emo posts cos that's what I'm supposed to be if I stillwant this r/s. A stupid ignorant kid.

It's about time I stop being panicky about anything and just pretend I'm not affected by anything in future.

I guess all the changing of myself these few years is stopping me from doing irrational things.
Am i even doing the right thing now to just salvage it?
I don't feel myself in me.

I guess just changing myself will make everyone happy.


So for that I'll be having to say sorry to everyone who i've done wrong when I was myself during that period.
I'm sorry.

So yea, I had the worst and most realistic nightmare last night that i woke up in the morning in tears.
I feel like the nightmare might come true anytime since there's no one i can talk to regarding this matter.
Just makes me ponder about everything.

I'm not emo or what ok, just to clarify.

Just chit chatted with Bunny and realised that maybe it's true i don't socialize well and i could only use less then 1 hand to count my friends.
If i mind not having friends, I might not be as unsociable as people think, but thing is, I don't care.

I don't start topics well and don't really have that energy level to keep the conversation going.
Thus making people think I'm unfriendly.
I've been a very negative child since young and not being myself in life is making it worst.
I just don't see a point in entertaining them. I might as well be a comedian or someone working in the circus if i wanted to.

Work is going haywire I might go crazy any moment.
I really wanna just throw everything down and leave. But the responsible part of me is stopping me from doing so.

I wanna survive depending on myself and not my parents.
I feel obligated to do whatever they say when I'm depending on them.



Gonna find something to do to take my mind off and hope time will pass quickly so I can go home and sleep all the way through tomorrow.




Ciaos
Golliwog

Yep, it's my off day today, but I'm at the office.
Just to attend the meeting. I find meetings held in this company just pointless.
Nothing comes out of it.

My energy is totally exhausted working in this company.
Lesson learnt: Never work in a company dealing with anything korean.

On a brighter side, I'll be spending all my time with panda peh these whole weekend.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I recently am into Lancome products. Ever since panda peh said miracle was damn lasting.
I've always had problems choosing perfumes cos they usually don't last.
But Miracle is really a miracle! Lasted like the whole night even after bathing!

I was also totally into their concealers!
I was searching for a perfect concealer for the longest time ever to conceal my dark eye circles (yea they're quite bad) but haven't found one.

So since panda and me were at vivo ytd night, we thought we might as well just take a look in Tangs.
I was trying out Bobbi Brown's eye concealer but the colour turned out greyish instead. (BAD)
Then I we walked over to Lancome's counter and I found THE CONCEALER!!!
It concealed my dark eye circles perfectly!!

Sadly, when i decided on the concealer shade, the sales girl said that shade was outta stock~~


But it's ok~ I'll just head to another Lancome counter again and get it! HEHEHE~~~





That's all for now!
Still waiting for Dino to arrive before the meeting can start. (It's 10.35AM already when the meeting is supposed to be at 10AM)



Ciaos,
Golliwog